3:34am

im having mixed emotions now..

im scared..

scared that after giving birth to you, e relationship between me and daddy will not be as good anymore

scared that i will quarrel with him more

scared that he will leave me bcos i love u more and he's jealous of it

scared that i don't know how to take care of you

scared that you will not dote on me and daddy

scared that you will not be filial

scared that i could not discipline you

scared that you are a useless man when you grow up

scared that you cannot contribute to the society

scared that you become a hooligan

scared that you have a bad temper like me

scared that you don't know how to "zuo ren"

scared that you break my heart

im so so scared of so so many things.. that it makes me so so scared of giving birth to you.. but at the same time..

im happy..

because you are our "ai de jie jing".. we know that you are the one

that makes our life going on..

that makes our life meaningful..

that makes us know who we lived for..

that makes us a better person..

we know that nothing matters more than your hug and kisses before we went to work everyday.. with you around, nothing can bring us down.. all because of you..

mummy and daddy loves u! =)

*i think im feeling scared because.. i really love jabez too much.. im so scared of not providing him the best.. i realise i have low self-esteem.. because im a lousy person myself.. i dunno how i can make him not a lousy person like me..=(

Jacqueline blogged at 12:33 PM