11:29am

baby,

mummy's feeling guilty because im thinking this way..

i don't wanna give birth to you..

because i terribly scared of the pain.. im so so scared of the engorgement.. im so so afraid tat i couldnt take the pain.. the soreness of breast if i breastfeed u.. e pain of my *ahem*.. and i couldnt wash my hair for e whole month.. and alot alot of pain.. im so so scared..=( but.. when i saw uncle william's newborn daughter, ruiqi, i feel like giving birth to u straightaway!! hehes.. it would be sucha joy on e day u were born.. but den again.. e pain is haunting mi..=( i hear too many scary stories already lar.. hais.. u r coming on aug! so so soon!! hehes.. i know u'll be a good boi.. cos today.. in e wee morning.. i could not get to slp.. u was kicking mi.. den i tell u, "jabez, don't kick mummy orites? we shall slp together ok? mummy cldnt slp.. but i haf to try to slp oh.. so u muz be gd boi and stop kicking den we try to slp together ok?" and den.. u really stop kicking! =) this is the 2nd time tat happen already! hehes.. but den again.. ur kicking sometimes startled mi! hahas.. tummy getting bigger and bigger which makes my backaches even worst.. had a terrible time to slp at nite..=( but its ok.. it will be over in a few weeks time! hehes.. i wonder.. how can i cope? i dun even dare to hold ruiqi!! LOL!! cos she's so soft.. so fragile.. i dare not.. but ur daddy says.. dun worry lar.. when time comes, we will manage it eventually.. its called maternal instinct! =)

Jacqueline blogged at 8:32 PM